True Story Tuesday–Shhh…..

It’s time for True Story Tuesday, where confession may be good for the soul but not for the reputation. And this week, I’m telling on my boy (and putting it on my WordPress blog instead of blogger for a reason; my blogger blog links to Facebook, and I DON’T want this going out to everyone that knows him!). First things first; I’ve decided to stop using the Bughunter moniker and just call my boy by his real name. He’s nearly 10, and his bughunting days are far fewer now. So, I’m going to let him “grow up” a little here and call him Adam; I hope it isn’t too confusing!
In my last post, I congratulated Adam on winning a medal at his latest wrestling tournament; it really was a big moment for him. But, I didn’t tell the “rest of the story”, which actually made me prouder of him but could cause a lot of grief from his friends if they know. Before the tournament started, the coach came up to me and told me that Adam would be wrestling a … GIRL… in his first match. I had already pulled his matrix and saw the name “Sabra”, so I had a suspicion; still, I felt pretty queasy. The coach had actually ref’d a couple of her matches at another tournament, and he said she was really tough. I debated on telling Adam and decided that he’d better know what he was facing. He was pretty horrified, and I was pretty torn. I’ve spent the last 8 years trying to train my boy to be nice to girls, and now he has to fight one? How does he do that? Finally, his dad and I told him that, since she chose to wrestle, she chose to be “one of the guys” and therefore should be treated in exactly that manner. Still, I think it freaked him out to shake hands with a girl and then try to muscle her to the mat. And she WAS really strong and had obviously wrestled in a LOT more tournaments than Adam. She beat him on points (but thank you God, she did NOT pin him!). Beat by a girl; I really thought that he’d be finished for the tournament. Honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear him say that he wanted to leave. But no, I think it lit a fire under him. The boy he wrestled in the second match was definitely more experienced, yet he was able to nearly pin him. And in the third match, he dominated and won; first time to win a match and first pin. So, I guess in the end it was GOOD that he wrestled the girl, but I’m finding that I can’t even bear to tell my friends that she beat him! Question to those of you who have girls; would you encourage them to participate in a full-body contact sport like wrestling, especially co-ed? I just can’t imagine WANTING my girl to have her hands all over a boy and vice-versa; I don’t care if they are just 10. And what about as they get older? What do YOU think?

For more True Stories (oh, Rachel… you SO busted yourself this time!), head over to Rachel’s and Mr. Daddy’s spot at Once Upon a Miracle. And do me a favor.. if you ever meet Adam… PLEASE don’t tell him that I told you about the girl…..

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14 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Pam on January 26, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    I am with you, in a sport such as wrestling girls should not wrestle a boy or the other way around. I would not want my girl to do it even at the age of 10.
    Great job on the way you and hubby handle the problem and fantastic way that Adam handled it.
    As for calling him Bughunter…I started calling Caleb, K-Tubby when he was learning to walk. He was a chucky little thing and it seemed to fit. As he has gotten older I call him Caleb but there are those few times when a nickname would fit. I started calling him The K-master. I was informed really fast that he would rather me continue to call him K-Tubby…I think it is that special name that his Nana gave him that he wants to hold onto!

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  2. Uh, as quite the girly girl I would have to say No. Seriously, what parents would let their little girl wrestle boys? It becomes more and more apparent to me that I really should have lived in earlier times.

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  3. “O” sure call me the human P.A. system on Rach’s blog and then give me this tid bit and expect me to be quite??? LOL

    I’ve got to respect Adam, I know that I would of wanted to leave after that. But to stay and win after that shows the emergence of truly good character…

    I think you are right in feeling the way you do, there are some things that just shouldn’t be allowed.

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  4. Ummm…yeah. That would be a no for me even though I have all boys. I don’t think it’s appropriate. Call me anti women’s lib but whatever. If you want to wrestle start a female wrestling team. Bottom line, end of story.

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  5. Awww man. That’s a tough one! I have a daughter and wouldn’t want her to wrestle boys, but if she loved it and was GOOD… I’m not sure what I would do? I have a friend who was one of 2 girls on the guy’s soccer team back in the early 80’s, when girls didn’t have their own teams. It was a large school in Kansas City. She said she got beat up and cried every day, but she loved the sport and was better than most of the guys. She didn’t think it was fair that she couldn’t play just because she was a girl. She said the coach made it even harder on them than the players. What’s funny is she ended up being a kindergarten teacher and is the MOST girly girl with the highest pitched voice you’ve ever heard! You would never guess she was some rough and tough soccer player. Her friend, the other girl on the boy’s team, ended up playing pro soccer and I believe was on the US olympic team as well. They were the ones who made it possible for other girls to play soccer at their school and eventually get their own team. The first pioneers!

    So who knows? Adam may have gotten beat by some girl who will be on the US olympic team someday!! LOL! Then it might be pretty cool to talk about:-) But when you’re 10, it’s not so cool. I bet next time he wrestles a girl… he’ll win!! πŸ™‚

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  6. Posted by Pam D on January 26, 2010 at 11:21 pm

    Amy, that’s why I’m asking, cause I don’t have a girl and really am not sure what to think. Soccer? Baseball? Tennis? Golf? All of those are a definite “yes, let her play!”, especially if there are no girl’s teams or she’s capable of keeping up with the boys. But wrestling is intimate, for lack of a better word. Sometimes I’m early for pick up from practice, and I hear the things the coaches are telling the boys to do, including “Get your hand in there… under his crotch… now pull UP!” Groins end up on top of faces, and these kids end up in positions that might make a married couple blush (or make their marriage better… who knows?). At 10, my boy already raises his eyebrow if he sees a magazine ad with a half-dressed woman. He may not know WHY he feels a tingle, but it’s there. So to put a girl out there KNOWING that she’s going to have full-body contact? I just don’t get it. And honestly, as he gets older, I may have to consider what’s truly right and wrong and talk to the coach about forfeiting matches with girls in lieu of putting my son in a position (figuratively and literally) that he just doesn’t need to be in. *sigh* Why can’t things ever be simple?

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  7. Awww good for him and I don’t blame you (or him) for not wanting to let his friends know he was beaten by a girl.

    And I’m all for girls doing whatever they want. I think it’s good for girls to do these kinds of things, especially if it means it can work as self-defense. But honestly I think I would have a definite problem if my daughter decided to do wrestling. Wrestling with girls is one thing but I can’t imagine it with boys, especially at that age.

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  8. Oy! What a can of gender worms!

    First off – really terrific sneaky shot you captured there!

    Second, who names their girl that? I’m trying to figure out if it means anything?

    Third… way to go Adam. Golly, that feels weird to type. I mean, I felt all special when I was one of the few that knew his real name. Now I’m just one of the adoring masses πŸ™‚

    Fourth – I dated a guy who wrestled in the season that we went to state and WON. And wrestling practice was in the gym adjacent to freshman girl’s basketball (which for some ungodly reason, all 4’2″ of me played). So we saw a lot of those really crazy moves that had me cringing with the uncomfortable contact.

    My little nieces? Heck no they better not be wrestling boys for sport. Let ’em go for Tae Kwan Do or something. My boy? I’d probably have him forfeit… I think you guys did a great job with it. How did Adam feel about it?

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  9. Posted by Pam D on January 27, 2010 at 6:54 am

    Rachel, a sabra is a Jewish person born on Israeli soil; it comes from the name of the prickly pear cactus and denotes a person who is tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Very cool name for a girl and indicative, I think, of the mindset of her parents in how they’re raising her.

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  10. Great photo! It makes me sad to know he doesn’t hunt bugs as much anymore, knowing my own son is is only a little over year behind him in age. I have to confess I felt horrified when I read his match was against a girl. There is no way I’d let my daughter participate in co-ed wrestling! I have to agree with Foursons, start your own all-girl team. As for what to tell your son if he’s matched with her again, I think you are right to think he should forfeit as hard as that might be.

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  11. ugh, wishing I could edit. I meant she should start HER own all-girl team.

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  12. Oh my. NO. I can not imagine wanting my girl to wrestle. Now I suppose if she begged and pleaded I would give in. I don’t know if you know this or not, but I am a softy : ) It would definitely be hard because, just as you said, we are forever teaching our boys how to treat girls with respect and honor, and somehow, throwing one onto a mat and pinning her just does not seem too honorable.

    I am SO glad he won his last match though. Isn’t that what life is really all about? We can’t always win. Sometimes we have to lose. And most often, when we lose, it pushes us to go on to bigger and better things! πŸ™‚

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  13. Way to take the high road, Mr. Daddy!

    I was going to leave some smart-aleck remark about enjoying wrestling with girls my own age, but noticed Mr. D wisely avoided it. He’s my mentor, really. Well, that and the fact that my wife wouldn’t think it was very funny–and she can beat me on points every time πŸ™‚

    So…Kudos to Adam for handling it with grace.

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  14. Posted by Pam D on January 29, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    Just had to add, for anyone who happens to come back and read the comments, that this same girl wrestled in a dual match at our school last night. But, because of the matchups, she did not wrestle Adam (thank you, God… truly). A boy who is a year older but with much more experience wrestled her, and he shut her down in 18 seconds. Is it awful to say that I was jumping up and down cheering for him? yeah. I guess it is. But I was. *sigh* I have a long way to go in terms of turning the other cheek, don’t I?

    Reply

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